The man from U.N.C.L.E. (United Nations of Crap & Lost Erections)

This is how i read this.

Imagine Ian Fleming (creator of James Bond for the newborns reading this) creating his James Bond books, back in the 60’s. He’s writing and getting more and more credits and success, so because back then everything was an upfront race, the ‘Mericans had to came up with something. So, super mega MI5/6 agent was taken, then will make an ‘Merican one and let’s add a Russian one too just to stay ahead.

Movie batch

Hot pursuit – if you are a Sofia Vergara fan, or like beautiful woman, watch it. Else, don’t waste your time. It’s precious. Witherspoon (I call her with_the_spoon) does a god job, but feels forced.

San Andreas – it looked so cool from the trailers but if you want a flick like this, start with 2012. Way more cool effects.
Wild Target  (2010)- actually this is a little gem. Will do a separate post on this. It’s not American and yest, Emily Blunt and master Bill Nighy have a perfect chemistry.

Jurassic Pork

We have new effects and the computers are great now so lets make a T-Rex with longer hands. Eventually they solved it, because when you’re going to see a T-Rex with that small hands on him you gonna laugh.
So, the Nublar Island of Dr. Ham (ond) is rebuild by an Indian owner (Life of Pi) and reopened as an attraction for tourists just like Disneyland. Of course a big bad dino they have created there, is on the loose and is tearing the place down.

Get Hard (ware)

Get Hard(ware) for the money. Better keep it and not spend it on cinema ticket and Get Hardware. Its a win for sure.
A falling vs a rising one? Neeeaaahh!They are both falling.
So, Will Ferrell is interpreting (widely said) a rich guy soon to go in jail. Kevin Hart portrays a good afro American guy who portrays to Will Ferrell character a bad ass dude who had some jail time. Funny enough? Yet?

I do bet on the wild card

That’s right. Jason Statham.

Of course the movie is bullshit. I don’t even want to get started on the plot, the acting and all that shit. I feel very sorry for him, because he is trying but also felt into a vicious circle.

The action flicks are still getting income.

We were all 3 Taken non stop to a walk around the tombstones of Liam’s Neeson

You don’t know me but I have a set of particular set of skills of telling apart bullshit by bullshitier. Yap, that’s me. I can call bullshit. I walk on the street and there it is….I shout: Taken!

There were some Taken2/3, The Grey, Non-Stop, A walk in Central Park, and maybe I missed some, but this all featured Liam Neeson. I like a good action movie as the next guy. The action and the way he gives credibility to his characters are still a small force in his movies.

X o dush (Exodus:Gods and brits)

I knew Ramses was a brit. I knew it. Now i got confirmation. Just watch his accent…

First time I laughed watching this movie was seeing Turturro as Rhamses father Seti. It was just involuntary. I mean he played well, wellish and had some other parts back in the days that he did beautiful but in the last years he just did comedy. Crazy stupid comedy and for me it was just a too serious pass between the parts he did before so the reacton was involuntary. I dare you to watch it in a cinema full of people watching you dazed as you laugh uncontrollably.

This is the end….I hope

Well, I’ll take a little longer to explain that! I really really hope that this is the end of this bad movies of Seth Rogen and Co. Ok, let me put it different; It is not sufficient to have a “never done before movie” idea it has to be also good. Bullshit ideas have all of us, we are not that lucky to make it on the big screen.

I will not go into history for every actor/character played in this movie simply because it will take to long and will be pointless.

The university of Monsters like Billy Crystal

I think that this is a perfect example of how to ruin one of the best animated could have been movie. Thank you!

I don’t know if this is the fault of Mr. Crystal, but Goooood…everything he touches becames…not a comedy. Mr. Crystal, you’re not funny. I mean, I reconize some of his jokes and his situation of comedy which I didn’t even feel it in the first movie. Mr. Crystal, stop making comedys or if you do try not to impose your jokes and funny stuff to others. THEY ARE NOT FUNNY.

Gangster Squa…sh

First thing that pops into my mind thinking of this movie is ” that girl in red”. Emma Stone. Although she has in comparison to the other actors (or it seemed to me) small time on screen. Maybe I wasn’t tired of her being a 30’s bombshell. And you know why I think of that? Because of all the actors she is out of her “comfort zone” as acting. This girl has it big. The smoking voice, the seducing look, everything fits and falls perfectly into the scene.